


Slang For The Long Dead

by LoveMe_Please



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: All the ghosts eras slang, And ancient slang, British Slang, English Slang, Gen, Georgian slang, No ships because that's lowkey weird, There's a lot we still use, modern slang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28135179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveMe_Please/pseuds/LoveMe_Please
Summary: Oh my god I forgot to add a summary-Alison gets caught up explaining what 'slang' is to Thomas, and all the other ghosts decide it's a good time to visit Alison as well. It's surprising what slang they had back then!
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	Slang For The Long Dead

Alison checked her image in the mirror, trying to fluff her hair up before giving up and dusting herself down, despite the lack of dust on her dress. She and Mike had been invited to a casual party by Obi, and she wanted to look her best. 

She sighed, checking herself once more before opening the door of the en suite and walking back into her bedroom where Mike was sat on the bed. She'd wanted to surprise him with the new dress, and was slightly disappointed when he didn't even look up from his laptop screen. 

"So... How do you think I look?" She prompted, breathing a sigh as Mike finally looked at her. 

"Oh my goodness... You look peng!" Mike grinned, making Alison start laughing. It was nice that they could joke around like they did. "I feel like I'm gonna be underdressed compared to you." 

"What does peng mean?" Thomas asked, phasing through the door, making Alison shriek. 

"Were you standing outside the door the whole time?" 

"...No." 

"Oh my god." Alison sighed. Mike looked on cautiously, knowing it was a Ghost Thing™. 

Thomas looked at her expectantly, and eventually Alison felt herself wilt. He wouldn't stop asking if she didn't tell him, and then all the other ghosts would become intrigued and it would all be hell until she answered. 

"It's slang Thomas. Well, British slang. I wouldn't expect any Americans to be using the word 'peng'." Alison tried, but the face Thomas made indicated he didn't understand. 

"Y'know, I'm just gonna... Get my stuff and get changed. Somewhere else." Mike said suddenly, getting up and grabbing some clothes before running off. 

"No no, please don't leave me with--!" The door shut in Alison's face. "Him." 

"At last we are alone!" Thomas sang, his arms outstretched to Alison as he moved forwards. 

"Not by my choice!" Alison shouted back, moving away. "I can teach you more about slang if you want? Just don't be... Weird." She diverted. Thomas took a second to deliberate, before nodding and sitting on the bed. 

"So, what does this 'slang' do?" He questioned, frowning. 

"It's an... Hm, I've never really thought that hard about it before. Lemme look it up." Alison said, sitting on the bed as well and grabbing Mike's discarded computer, typing into the search bar 'slang meaning'. 

"Are you guys talking about slang?" Pat's head popped through the door, and excited grin on his face. "If you are, I'll eat my shorts!"

"That's disgusting! Why would you eat the only thing covering part of your legs? Do you want to become like Julian?" Thomas uttered in disgust. 

"Not literally! It's slang, from back in my day! Do people still say that Alison?" Pat asked, walking through the door to join them in the room. 

"Not really. If they do, it'll be a reference to The Simpsons." Alison replied, looking up at Pat. "Did you ever get to see the start of that show?" 

"I've heard of it, but it must have started after I died. Julian's mentioned it once or twice." Pat said, also sitting down on the bed. "It is a real shame that they don't say it anymore. One of my favourite phrases!" 

"I bet it was. Ah, here's a good definition: 'a type of language that is regarded as very informal, used more in speech than in writing, and is usually restricted to a context or group of people.' It makes things easier and quicker to say most times, like 'gonna'." She finished. "I imagine you rarely used it, Thomas, because you speak as you write." 

"Elegantly and romantically?" Thomas asked eagerly. 

"Posh an' Bri'ish, ennit?" Alison said in an overdone chav accent, before laughing at Thomas' horrified face. "Or like a dictionary, if you want me to be more clear." 

"Excuse you! I do not--" Thomas started, only to be interrupted as another head poked through the door. 

"Oh good heavens, what kind of language was that?!" An affronted looking Fanny accused, walking into the room and looking at Alison. "I would have expected no relation of mine to--" 

"Oh, take a chill pill Lady B! It was just a joke." Pat shook his head, raising his hands in a calming manner. 

"Take a... What?" Fanny blinked. 

"A chill pill! Like, calm down." Pat explained as the two older ghosts blinked at the new term. "Ay, that's slang!" 

"Yeah! And it's still used today, though take note of the 'restricted to a context or certain group of people' part." Alison nodded as Pat did a little happy dance. 

"What is this 'slang'?" Fanny frowned deeply. 

"An improper way of speaking." Thomas answered, not too keen on this whole new thing. 

"Oh, well this is a conversation I want out of!" Fanny cried, her arms flapping up and down she moved to leave the room. 

"Wait! There must be some kind of slang from back in your day?" Alison stopped her, quickly typing 'early 20th century slang' into the computer while Fanny stopped just to look at her with an arched eyebrow. 

"I doubt it. We were Ladies and Lords in this house, only proper speaking was allowed. Maybe among the servants, but not I." She sniffed, only to be interrupted by Alison. 

"Oh, here's one we still use today! Well, maybe you didn't say it, but we still say 'hungover'. And 'Birthday suit', saying someone's naked." She read off the list, Pat clicking his fingers in recognition. Thomas' face scrunched up in disgust, and as did Fanny's. 

"Well, maybe, but--" 

"Did I hear the words hungover and naked?" Julian's face appeared through the door, grinning almost evilly at the thought. The group of ghosts started muttering among themselves at Julian's antics, but Alison beckoned the trouserless ghost in. 

"Actually, we're talking about slang. I was just looking up Fanny's time's slang and birthday suit came up." She explained, pointing at the computer screen. 

"Ah, the irony. You know, because F--" 

"Let's look up your slang, yeah?" Alison stopped him. "I would have been a kid at the time so I should know some." At Julian lack of complaint, she began typing. 

"What is everyone doing here? Is no time to chat with Alison." Robin said, stomping into the room after probably following Julian. 

"We're looking up informal words from everyone's time periods Robin! You're welcome to join, but I doubt we'll get any results if I look up caveman slang." Alison explained, clicking enter.

"All language come from cavemen who spoke language first, so technically, all slang is my time slang." Robin rationalised, and Alison found it hard to argue. 

"That's true, I guess. Oh, 'eat my shorts' comes up here too." She smiled at Pat. 

"Well, there was only about 10 years between us, I wouldn't imagine that language would have changed that much." Pat shrugged and Julian nodded slightly, joining the others on the bed to get a better look at the computer screen. 

"I didn't say much of these. I heard them all the time, the new, 'hip' Labour MPs always said them. I doubt they even went to a private school." He sniffed. 

"Riiiiight. Cambridge must have loved you." Alison said shifting the computer so the two new ghosts could fit on the bed. 

"Alison, do you know where-- Oh, they're all here!" Kitty giggled as she stepped to the room as well, swishing her skirt around. "What is everyone doing in here?" 

"We're talking about our slang words. They're informal words or phases used by lower classes." Fanny explained, standing near the corner of the bed still. 

"Oh, I remember my sister teaching me some 'slang words'! My father told me off when I actually used them. I got sent to the cellar!" Kitty laughed as if it was a funny joke. 

"What slang was that?" Alison asked, beginning to search for Georgian era slang.

"I told him that he deserved to be in a 'booby-hatch', because my sister said it meant a paradise! It didn't!" Kitty smiled. 

"Doesn't... Doesn't booby-hatch mean insane asylum?" Thomas asked, turning to look at Kitty. 

"Oh, does it? That would explain why he got so angry. I wonder why my sister would tell me that?" Kitty sighed. "Say, are there any words you still use today that were invented in my time?" 

"Quite a few actually. Dingy, feeling low, noggin... even golly!" Alison scrolled further down on the list, laughing suddenly. "And frog, when referring to a Frenchman." 

A few ghosts snickered, Julian even waving his hands around and heckling the none existent French people in the room. Humphrey's head (had he been there the whole time again?) laughed from the floor, thinking of his wife. 

"Oh, I wish I had that vocabulary back in my day! My wife would blab on and on, I thought she was madcap, with her being French and all." He sighed. 

"Madcap?" 

"You know, crazy. Just because I was flush didn't mean that I didn't know my slang." He laughed, Kitty picking his head up and holding it in her lap. 

"I don't think I've heard of that before." Alison hummed, turning her full attention to Humphrey, the other's following suit. 

"Well, crazy means--" 

"No, not that. Well, yes. But also, flush?" 

"Oh, it meant having a lot of money. Having a title, being in terms with the King and later Queen, marrying to different countries for alliances, obviously we had money. But sometimes I would escape the house, even go to the village. I'd rarely talk to the people there, but I could overhear their conversations. Didn't understand half of it, to be honest." If Humphrey had his shoulders he'd probably be shrugging. 

"You really didn't like your wife, huh?" Alison asked. 

"No, no! It's not that I didn't like her, although she definitely didn't like me. And the language barrier never helped. I did call her a harpy once. She was nooot happy." He said, looking down at where his neck would have been. 

"If a husband went around n' called his wife that, then she'd be a witch!" Mary cried, bumbling into the room. 

"What wouldn't make a woman a witch?" Alison asked pointedly, almost fighting the urge to roll her eyes. Not that she didn't care! But she'd learnt about the witch trials in GCSE drama and remembered how the paranoia and fear had made literally everyone a witch. 

"If you lived a good, pure life, then you was no witch! No hocus-pocus." She explained simply. "The Midas touch be for the men and the child bearin' be for the ladies, but I saw a witch or two that would sponge off their brothers and pretend to be hard at home, makin' bread, and they was never hunged nor burned!" She scowled. 

"Well, we were just talking about slang. You've just given us some of your own!" Kitty explained. 

"Do they not be saying those words no more?" Mary questioned, sitting on the floor because the bed was now full, even with Fanny standing. 

"Not as much anymore. I don't think I've ever heard of a 'Midas touch', but I can guess it meant being something along the lines of being the breadwinner." Alison said, closing the computer after it turned itself off with the lack of activity.

"That do's be shaming." 

"A shame." Thomas corrected. "That do's be a shame. Wait, hold on-" 

Before Thomas could rectify his mistake, the final upper house ghost that wasn't the pigeon walked briskly into the room. It was, of course, the Captain. 

"What are you all lollygagging around in here for? Did you all forget about the art talk I had planned before film club?" He stood at alert, his swagger stick held tightly under his arm. 

"Oh, sorry Cap! We got sidetracked talking with Alison." Pat explained. 

"Is that why I saw Michael walking around aimlessly in the common room area?" The Captain asked, making Alison start. 

"Oh, I forgot I was supposed to be going out with him tonight! You really distracted me guys." She said, reaching over to grab her phone off the night stand. "Ah, it doesn't start for another twenty minutes, I should be fine."

"You're going out wearing that?" Fanny frowned. 

"Yes! I bought this dress just for parties! It looks nice." Alison defended. 

"Can we get on with it, please. I would like everyone to be in the common room for my talk in a jiffy." The Captain said, trying to bring the attention back to him.

"Does that be slang too, Alison? Back when's I was alive, we never were saying 'in a jiffy'." And Mary instantly deflected his attempt. 

"Well, I guess so. It's sometimes still said now, but not as often as the Captain says it." 

"Oh, oh, I remember when I was a kid pretending to be in the war! I'd say things like 'hi-de-ho!' and 'in a jiffy' all the time." Pat laughed. "My dad was part of the armed forces, taught me half of it all." He smiled at the memory. 

"Mine too. Wouldn't've been if the whole conscription thing hadn't started, but he became a Commodore almost immediately. Probably paid his way there, but he didn't die, so there's that." Julian added. 

"He did not work his way up?" The Captain looked disgruntled at the thought. 

"Didn't have to, mate. He had the wonga, and even if he was an idiot, he was a rich idiot who knew how to bribe." Julian shrugged. 

"I'm glad I didn't come across that crumb then." The Captain responded curtly. Julian opened his mouth to say something in defence, but then shut it again and nodded, shrugging and accepting what the Captain had just called his father. 

The creaking sound of the ancient steps was then heard from outside the room. Mike was coming up the stairs, presumably to ask if Alison was done with talking to Thomas, and he would be blissfully unaware that now all the ghosts had gathered in the room. 

"Alright, enough with this gobbledygook! Alison and Michael have a prior engagement they must be attending to, and we still have an art talk on, less than half an hour late!" The Captain offered a stiff smile, waiting for the others to start standing before walking out of the room with finality in his stride. Just in time for Mike to open it, asking if Alison was ready. 

Most ghosts walked out of the walls, descending the stairs to join the Captain, and only one ghost lingering slightly longer. 

"What do you need Thomas?" Alison asked, collecting her coat from the chair next to the bed. 

"I was just wondering, because it was never really answered, what does peng mean?" 

Oh, _great_. 


End file.
